My fellow fascists, I am here today to implore you to reconsider your strategy of labeling everyone who disagrees with you as me, Hitler.  Quite frankly, it's an insult to my lethal legacy.

When this started with Bush, while it was obviously a laughable analogy, it was at least a comparison of apples to apples as it were, both of us being national leaders and all.  Now, you've devolved to the point where you're comparing people like Glenn Beck to me, Hitler.  Really?!?! Glenn fucking BECK?!?!?!  Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he the dry drunk talk-show host who likes to rant about gold and cry a lot?  How many fucking people has he killed?  How many countries has he invaded?  How much genocide has he committed?  Glenn fucking BECK?!?!?! It's almost enough to leave my rotting corpse speechless.

This nonsense has got to stop.  If that asshole movie company hadn't stopped people from making bunker parodies, I'd make one myself about how easy it's become to get compared to me, Hitler.  At this rate, instead of being famous, everyone will be Hitler for 15 minutes.

My fellow fascists, get a hold of yourselves.  There was only one Hitler, and I'm long dead and unlamented.  If you must make ludicrous comparisons, at least give my rotting corpse a break and start using Stalin or Pol Pot or some other brutal leader as your boogeyman.  I'm sick of it, and quite frankly, their rotting corpses could use the attention.  Thank you.

Translated from the original German by Hermit Dave.  This blog does not necessarily endorse the views of the author.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 08:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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An extremely wealthy, 48-year-old man using a bunch of braindead hipster douchebags to further enrich himself by passing off the perpetuation of the status quo as sanity.

You have to hand it to Stewart.  He just might be the single most cynical bastard on the face of the earth.  And his followers are almost certainly the dumbest.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 09:40 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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That buffalo chicken pizza I ordered last night seemed like such a good idea at the time ...

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 09:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Posted by: Hermit Dave at 08:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I rarely laugh out loud, but I did at this:

Unless you're familiar with high finance you probably won't get it, or even know who the guy is, but it's funny on a number of levels.  Trust me.  Really.

(credit to williambanzai7 in the comments at ZH)

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 03:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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International law is like Blake Lively, I'd like to violate it as often and as enthusiastically as possible.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 11:46 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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How to get people to pay attention to airline safety instructions:

(via Hawtness)

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 10:16 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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You know you've become a pop culture icon when you get spoofed by Sesame Street.

(via TMZ, although it should be on every site in existence soon, I figure.)

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 04:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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