Yes, the title of this post sounds like a punchline to Olbermann's ouster at MSNBC, but I'm completely serious about this.  If Fox handled this properly, it would be a much bigger win for them than the Juan Williams hire, which was good for some positive PR, but has little long-term benefit.

First, it would have to be in at least a marginally acceptable timeslot, with a reasonable (based on his actual ratings at MSNBC) pay package.  I don't watch TV news at all, so I don't know where they could possibly stick him, but there must be some place.

Second, his contract would have to be pay-for-performance, and either short-term or with an opt-out for Fox if Olby didn't meet ratings targets.  The contract details would have to be announced or at least leaked so that everyone would know the deal.

Now, he probably wouldn't take the offer.  Fine.  For Fox, that's probably the best possible scenario.  They can claim to have tried to reach out to an arch rival, and end up sacrificing nothing while achieving the high ground.  But with his huge ego, Olbermann might think he'd be hugely successful on a better-rated network.  Hell, it wasn't Olby that was the problem, it was MSNBC!

If Olby does take the offer, many many more viewers get to see the true ugly face of the far left.  And he would get eyeballs, at least for a short while.  Plus, it puts the Kos-type crowd in a terrible spot -- to support Olby so he doesn't get canned again they'd have to watch him on fucking Fox of all places.

Most likely, Olby would end up back out in the street at the first opt-out opportunity for Fox.  There's almost no way his ratings could keep up with the other opinion makers on the network.  Fox will have pissed away a relatively small amount of money while potentially making some net gains on their other shows from people who came for Olby but stayed for people who were at least somewhat sane.  Plus, this would likely make Olby unemployable at any other network -- if he couldn't pull ratings on Fox, how the hell could he pull them anywhere?

The real longshot is that Olby both takes the offer and makes a success out of it.  I really don't see how that could happen, but anything is possible.  Fox could just shrug and count their money.  Or Fox could get rid of him on some obscure standards and ethics clause in the contract (given Olby's complete lack of standards or ethics, it's a nearly sure thing he'd be in violation somewhere).  Or maybe O'Reilly will completely lose his shit and murder Olbermann on live TV.  Whatever, Fox would have plenty of options.

So yes, I'm quite serious -- Fox should offer Olbermann a job.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at 07:22 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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